This Was Not What I Planned: Stranded in San Antonio?
I was scheduled to give a presentation for school counselors on ‘Is It A Behavior Problem or Is It Stress?” I had been planning this for about three months with their coordinator. I left early Thursday morning because it is about a seven hour drive from where I live. I wanted to have time to rest up from the drive so I would be fresh and energetic for my Friday afternoon presentation. I was very excited to be able to share my research and experiences about how stress affects children especially their behavior with school counselors. I had been seeing an escalation in behavior problems in children over the last 20 years and the methods I had learned didn’t seem to work much or for very long with a growing number of children. I have learned that my experiences are not isolated. School teachers and counselor are challenged as well as parents. Like me they were open to learning new things to see if that would help.
I had a lot to offer. Besides my experience and information I had resources. I just completed writing three books. They were written with school counselors in mind. Shrinking Troubles and Growing Stronger for Boys and Shrinking Trouble and Growing Stronger for Girls were designed to teach the concepts of personal power. Each book has a companion workbook so that each child can draw or write their experiences like the children in the story. The book has been well received by my clients and another school counselor. She also like the grief book The Power of Relationships In Pictures and Words.
However, none of this was to be. Mother Nature dumped ice and snow in an uncommon place. I35, I10 and 410 became treacherous. By morning they had all been shut down. The pictures on the morning news looked like something out of a sci-fi movie when the climate wreaked havoc on the earth. The interstates were white, traffic-less except for a few vehicles people had abandoned to find warmer places. The school coordinated called and was apologetic but the schools were closing and the presentation cancelled. I was stranded.
I called my assistant to update her and was planning to head back home as soon as the road began to thaw. But then I learned that it had been snowing there to the tune of about six inches. Dallas/Ft Worth airport was shut down, as was San Antonio, Corpus Christi and Houston. It was certain. I was not going to get back home today. I called the front desk and told them I’d be staying for one more night.
Now in the quiet of my hotel room I face what to do with this experience. The first thing I did was make contact with a person recommended as a Website Guru. We got acquainted and went right to the heart of what I needed. She also coached me about other issues I needed to address about where I want to go with my skills and knowledge.
What we discussed took me back to an old issue. The issue that Mother Nature’s pause brought up for me is my up-until-now resistance to seeking help from others. It has cost me. It has costs me in time, money and my creative expression. Echoes from what other’s have told me but I wouldn’t listen came back to haunt me. It is time to listen. I realized that it is not that I think I’m smarter than everyone, though I can see how it might look that way to others. In this quiet, down-time, after a wonderful and honest conversation with my new coach, It came to me in one of those flashes. Shame. Shame has kept me from reaching out and asking for help. Shame has not helped me. But, now in this unexpected pause I have made this saboteur conscious. Now I will be more aware of what has kept me from reaching out and connecting with others so I can receive their gifts and express mine.
Deborah Chelette-Wilson, LPC writes children’s books to help teach concepts of personal power. For more information go to http://www.integratingtrauma.com
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